There was a road block
on my way home from work. As I approached a line of police officers in my car, I saw that around the next curve on Main Street in Southampton, MA there was a dense collection of fire trucks and FBI vehicles. I inched my vehicle forward and a cop waved to me as if he knew who I was. As I rolled down my window he informed me that a sacred Mormon text had been found and it informed of the coming of Jesus. The officer requested my help, so I proceeded on foot to the center of the scene. There, I found a bomb attached to the sacred text, which was a giant grey stone with engraved messages in another language. The bomb was set to go off in thirty seconds. As the clock neared ten seconds, I realized that my disarming attempt was futile, so I gave up and told everyone to take cover. When time was up, nothing exploded. A bright white light shone from the heavens, and a figure began to descend to the ground.
The next thing I remember I was looking through a one-way window at an FBI agent interrogating a long-haired man dressed in robes with a halo around his head. The octo-mom appeared next to me and said, “My babies have been killed, and all they care about is this guy?”
